How to Start a Conversation with a Girl You Like Online or in Real Life

For some guys, talking to a girl can be a daunting task. However, it is not as daunting as many make it out to be. In fact, it is something that requires faith in oneself, self-acceptance, self-respect, respect for others, patience and respect specifically for ladies.


The art of how to start a conversation with a girl starts with your outlook on life and how your mind approaches situations. It does not start with direct directions on how to start talking to a girl—it starts with improving your mind and your inner life.

You are who you are, and you will never change that. There may be various things about you that are impossible, or nearly impossible to change, such as physical features, health conditions, career, job prospects, living arrangements and/or background. The key is to not get hung up about these things in your mind or think that you are any less valuable.


As a human being, you are valuable. Do not feel bad about yourself just because you think that you aren’t doing well enough in your life, or just because you think that you have flaws that make you unattractive.

Whether you really have flaws or not, you may just be putting emphasis on things about yourself that don’t really matter to other people, or that don’t matter as much. You must understand that there are all kinds of ladies out there with different opinions and levels of tolerance for different things.

Even if you have a flaw that bothers some ladies, there will probably be plenty more ladies in the world who will be willing to accept you. There may even be ladies in the world who love your flaw or feel that it fits in with their lifestyles and/or priorities. If any lady doesn’t like you then, well, onto the next one!

Do not be afraid of getting rejected or sounding stupid. If you do, then who cares! This is how you should think. Again, you should have that “onto the next one” mentality. Every time you interact with a girl, think of it as a learning experience of how such intersections feel and what you should say.

There may be some ladies out there who are openly mean. There are also so many ladies out there who are a mismatch for you, and it may seem extremely awkward and pointless to hit on them. Well, there are all kinds of women out there, and you should not let meanness or incompatibility make you feel down on yourself.

Get Into the Minds Of Ladies, And Have Respect

Ladies want to feel safe. They want to feel like they are not talking to a creep. They want to know that they aren’t going to get raped, murdered, kidnapped or beaten. Ladies don’t want to have the feeling that any of those things could happen.

If you want to know how to start a conversation with a girl you like, you must think about what actions and verbalizations might appear creepy. For example, there are some men who go to a bar and ask girls, “Are you here alone?” In the mind of some females, this question may make you come off as that guy who is trying to plot out something bad.

Also, being too forward, sexually, can come off as being creepy. If you are chatting with a girl, it a good idea to not put your hands on her, at all, even if you want to put your hand on her in a more appropriate area. Do not demand sexual acts or even make reference to sexual stuff, verbally.

Well, there may be some ladies out there who may respond to outward sexual aggression, in certain situations. However, it is a general suggestion that you shouldn’t and that you will come off as a real creep.

Talking To Ladies

Just say hello, and pick a topic to talk about. It can be the weather, an observation about the environment around you, a tasteful joke or a fun fact that you learned. Again, in most cases, do not act overly aggressive, sexually.

When it comes to how to start a conversation with a girl online, the first thing that you can say is, “Hello.” Greeting a woman is the first thing that you can do when it comes to how to start a chat with a girl.

Watch what direction conversations will go in, and try to direct things in the right way. If a conversation is going in the wrong direction, try to direct the conversation away.

What you should talk about in a conversation is highly situational. What a conversation should be about is also highly dependent on what type of conversation tickles the fancy of each particular lady. Different conversation topics are preferred by different ladies.